Say it out loud.
Inside your head, thoughts can run around with the power of believability. Say it out loud and allow the thoughts to stand outside, in the light of day. Once you say them out loud or write them down, do these seem more or less true?
- I will never find love again.
- No one else will ever love me.
- I am unlovable.
Our thoughts run around, doing gymnastics in our heads and may see true. Out in the light of day you can see if these thoughts stand up to inquiry. What evidence do I have that I will never find love again? How old is this thought?
Movies, books, and songs tell us that there is only one true love. How can that thought ever true? We know love when we suffer? True or false?
We say, “because I think it, this must be true”. When we are uncomfortable with our thoughts, we either ruminate, noting them again and again; or we tend to avoid them, hide them in some dark closet or box, shelving it for the big reveal, at a time when we can no longer contain them and they burst forth, like a tsunami clearing all other thoughts in the room.
Awkward until it is not. Opportunities are lost when we struggle and recycle the thought, “this will be difficult”. Say it out loud, “This will be difficult”. Expose the hesitancy, the fear, and the vulnerability. Then say, “it will be awkward until it is not”.
Say it a few more times.
- Learning to ride a bike is awkward until it is not.
- Learning to cook,
- Making eye contact,
- Riding the bus, the metro,
- Saying I love you
Awkward – Mindfully and purposefully moving towards what is uncomfortable, until it is no longer awkward.