Wrap-up to Session 2.
Assessing your eNinja progress:
Thank you! I got a bunch of interesting questions. Here are a few, hopefully, useful answers:
- No, the car story was meant to be innocent and without meaning to any person over the age of 5 years old. (full disclosure – My first car was a BMW)
- I have a baazzilion stories and my first memory was being in a play pen wishing I could get out and be with the rest of my brothers and sisters (i am 1 of 10).
- What do I value? I am happy that you asked:
- As an individual. Having almost died in 2005, I value my health. Without that, I would not be able to Live the Life I love.
- As an emotionally connected partner/spouse? I value be as emotionally available as I am physically and emotionally capable of being, day by day.
- As a parent? I value my willingness to allow my children to learn without my interference. I admit that this is no small task and I frequently miss the mark.
- As an adult child? I now value seeing my parents as humans, flawed and defective, without judgement. Without wishing they had been more.
- As a sibling/best friend? I know now that I cannot love everyone I want to love. Understanding my limits and deficiencies helps me to make room for accepting those I love, i.e., their values, choices and ability to care.
In session 1 you “Found your Ground” and began to experience “The Power of Presence”. To be Here and Now. You named your Force. The Force can be one thing or it can clarify the various obstacles that get in your way, daily, monthly and so on.
In session 2 you “Declared What You Value”, What matters most to you. In future exercises, we will continue to contemplate what matters most as you clarify what makes those Values different from goals.
You also discovered that a Goal is different than a Value. When I love well, I meet my daily goal. When I struggle with loving, each and every day, I am living my Value as I continue to invest in Living what I Value.
Struggling is part of valuing
Yes or No – No trying, you either Do or you Do Not. Are you:
- Willing to adjust – adeptly maneuvering around the Force? This isn’t something to conquer, it is an important skill set. Living a valued life requires acknowledging individual obstacles and learning the grace required to circumvent or move out of the way. When you drive a car, you need to know where your exits are.
- Open to Experiencing Awkward. To live life is to face awkward. If awkward is a force, what then is your plan to manage it? A quick search for the definition – awk·ward, adjective. 1. causing difficulty; hard to do or deal with. 2. causing or feeling embarrassment or inconvenience. synonyms: embarrassing, uncomfortable, unpleasant, delicate, tricky, problematic
- Curious about What is Possible. Each day is a new day to face awkward with curiosity. I wonder why I feel embarrassed? What makes this uncomfortable, unpleasant? What do I need to handle this delicate, tricky problem?
- Able to Imagine Good. We will go deeper into our human tendency to look for the negative. Basically, it is hardwired and at one time it had evolutionary survival value, however unless you actively live in a jungle or war zone, imagining good will likely save your ass quicker than imagining the worst. Details to follow.
“Life is best organized as a series of daring ventures from a secure base”. J Bowlby
Session # 3. Building a Strong Foundation to Supports Daring Ventures.
eNinja work requires a strong foundation to support the acquisition of the skills, ability and strength to manage thoughts, emotions and forward movements.
eNinja tools: Notebook, writing utensil, and device to listen to audio and YouTube files.
Build a base that support skills, ability and strength
Consider trying to drive a car without tires, or the knowledge of how to drive on an empty gas tank.
Consider running a 5k without ever having run a mile. How successful would you be without the necessary preparation of diet, rest and exercise?
For those of you that lift weights, consider lifting any amount of weight without knowing the correct muscle to engage and those not to engage. Would you lift any significant weight without checking that your body from your toes to your nose was in the proper alignment?
eNinjas find their ground, prepare, and honor their bodies strengths and limits. They eat a diet that will sustain living what they value. They get the proper amount of rest and sleep so their body and mind can repair and restore. They also make time to build the strength that is required to support the actions of living a valued life.
eN-exercise 5: Taking stock in your current base.
Let’s being by taking stock in your current base so we can determine what you will need to support a sufficient base in order to attain new ability, skills and strengths. In this exercise, you will need to make a personal assessment of where you are, here and now, and what will be required for you to move in the direction of your stated values.
- Think about what you eat and drink on a daily basis, does your diet consist a bit, somewhat, or mostly, of what you know you need to sustain a fairly healthy you? If you don’t know, please contact a dietician or your medical doctor. Most insurance companies now pay for preventative wellness appointments. They know that a healthier you reduces the need for you to use your medical insurance benefits.
- Think about what you read on a daily basis – your Information Diet. Do you read or watch programing that supports a healthy mind and body? We are not only what we eat but we are also what we fill our mind’s think tank. Please assess if you are paying attention to useful and helpful thoughtful programing; filling your think tank with useful/helpful thoughts or mindless examples of a life you have declared, NOT worth living.
- Do you get adequate sleep? When we shut off our brains, the repair begins. Every inch of your body needs rest to restore and repair from the day’s activities. Our bodies and our minds need to de-stress and un-plug from the day. If you have trouble sleeping, tell me about your sleep ritual. What do you do to unwind and prepare yourself for a very important part of your day, to rest and restore?
- What are your thoughts and habits around exercise? What do you do the help your body and mind manage daily wear and tear? Most of the day we are jacking ourselves up to stay awake, to perform. I know that some of you run at a marathon pace, running a corporation. What do you do to combat the gas pedal chemicals? When do you give yourself a break, take a walk, or meditate for 5 mins or more? Meditation is like mental floss, loosening the stuck inflexible thinking! Exercise releases the good chemicals to counter act the intense toxic ones like adrenaline and “fight or flight” cortisol.
Give yourself a chemical pick me up and take a walk, breath with peaceful purpose, or run a mile or two.
It takes a strong mind and body to ground yourself in the here and now, ready for what comes your way. Are you ready?
eN-Exercise 6: Imagine Good.
In your notebook write down everything that you do to take care of yourself. Note what you eat, what you drink, what you watch on TV, and what books and magazines you read, or the websites you frequent. Write it all down and take stock in how many of those things are helpful and life sustaining and how many are distractions that build and support the immobilizing “Force” that stops you from living the life you declare that you love.
Draw a big Bull’s Eye or use this one:
In the center put the actions that you do that support your declared values. Ex. 8, 9 and 10, eat well, sleep well and exercise. Place all of the things you do do that support your values into the center and put all of the things you do that don’t support your declared values in the outer circle, i.e., in the rings of 6 or 5. When you do what you value you are hitting the bull’s eye or moving closer to being consistent with what you say that you value. Keep working on this exercise. Each day say it out loud, “I am walking towards what I say I love, what I value”.
Willing to pay attention to actions that support or thwart what they say they value.
Open to building and sustaining a strong base through diet, rest and exercise.
Curious about why they sometimes make a choice that lands in the outer circle.
Able to imagine they are able, mentally and emotionally agile, to take the necessary actions that support their stated values.
Extra Credit: Watch this YouTube video of an inspirational eNinja.